Holidays After Loss: Navigating the Empty Chair

The holidays are coming. And for anyone who's lost a sibling, that sentence can feel like a warning.

Family gatherings become minefields of memory. Someone tells a story he would have laughed at. The seating arrangement has a gap. Mom tries too hard to keep things normal. And you sit there, holding it together, feeling the absence like weather.

Here are some things that have helped our community members navigate this season:

Give yourself permission to leave. You don't have to stay for the entire gathering. Having an exit plan isn't weakness — it's wisdom.

Create a small ritual. Light a candle, set a place, pour their favorite drink. Acknowledging the absence openly can take away some of its power.

Talk to your family ahead of time. Let them know what you need. Some people need to talk about the person they lost. Others need a break from it. Both are valid.

Find your people. If family gatherings are too much, spend part of the holiday with people who get it — friends, support groups, this community. You're allowed to choose where you heal.

Lower the bar. 'Getting through it' is enough. You don't have to be festive, grateful, or strong. You just have to be honest about where you are.

The empty chair will always be there. But over time, you can learn to sit with it — and even, eventually, find moments of warmth and connection around the same table.